In our last post, we discussed the need for a healthy sense of love and belonging within our community. Additionally, we talked about how unhealthy attachment patterns can start early in life and have harmful effects on how we interact in our relationships. To discover some more about the root causes of unhealthy attachments we also looked at the Solar Plexus or ‘Manipura’ and the Heart Chakra or ‘Anahata’. Now we are ready to find ways of looking inward to find validation and are ready to begin our journey in healing both those energy centers.
First, we take a look at the Solar Plexus, or our seat of self-esteem. Would you say that you have an integrated sense of self? Have you looked at the areas of life that are important to you, set goals, and started action to achieve them? When we take the time to determine our values, to create an internal picture of ourselves we can ask the following questions: Do I know who I am? Do I like where I am going in life? Do I want to live this way? The answers to these questions will inform our goal making process. The next step is to start taking small, realistic steps towards achieving these goals and ultimately toward achieving our ideal lifestyle. This can increase the sense of esteem we hold within us. Now, an important part of this process is to not get caught up in the end goal. Allan Watts uses dance to explain: in dance, we are not looking for the last step, rather the art that is created in the process. The same applies in music, are we looking for it to be over or do we appreciate each sound as it creates the melody? So too in life, the journey is the destination.
With a renewed sense of self, we can move on to the Heart chakra or our love ability. This energy center flows both inward and outward; meaning that we focus on two areas of love. The ability to love ourselves and the ability to love others. As we build our self-esteem and stay grounded in the journey we are experiencing, we can begin to treat ourselves with kindness. In this way, kindness can grow into a feeling of love. This applies to our outward manifestation of love as well. So, the more we choose to look at others with kindness, the easier it will become to find love in our hearts. It can be surprising how powerful the lens of kindness and understanding can be.
Do you remember our example from last time about the constant phone checking, wishing to just get a response from someone in our life? How do you think the above practices might affect this interaction? Let’s imagine it for a moment. I send out a text and am awaiting a reply. Meanwhile, since my goals and actions are clear, I get to focus on fulfilling them. If the thought of checking the phone arises in my mind, I can ask myself, “Is this serving the benefit of the goals I have set for myself.” If it is distracting me from what I would like to apply my attention to I get to treat myself with kindness and figure out what needs I have that I am awaiting another to fulfill. Then I can lovingly fill that need myself or seek out trusted companions to discuss it with. In this way, I slowly shift my attention from outward to inward and become empowered to enjoy the journey I am on. To apply this concept to other areas, Teal Swan teaches us a simple and powerful question to ask ourselves, “What would someone who loves themselves do?”
Wishing you a kind and loving journey,
Shoshana Widitor BS, BES